RowTow 2.0

Yeah. We know. She’s a porn star. Pretty much THE porn star of the moment. And we really don’t care much for many porn stars. Let’s just say that while many of them look good, they’re mostly dumb as a brick and then there’s the whole had sex with 10,000 sketchy dudes thing. Needless to say not really Bitch of the Day material.

Here’s what Wikipedia has to say:

Sasha Grey (born Marina Ann Hantzis, on March 14, 1988, in North Highlands, California) is an award-winning American pornographic actress. A. O. Scott of the New York Times described her pornographic career as “distinguished both by the extremity of what she is willing to do and an unusual degree of intellectual seriousness about doing it.” She is also active outside of pornography through modeling, acting, and music.

Sasha Grey is probably one of the more intelligent people I’ve seen in pop culture, period. Which is why she gets to be Bitch of the Day. While our current culture shoves stupid women like Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson down our throats every day, it’s a very telling about our society that a young woman this intelligent and talented could rise through the ranks of porn and crossover into mainstream acting.

That’s right, she’s appearing in a movie that you won’t have to wear a raincoat to go see in the theatre. The Girlfriend Experience, the new movie by Steven Soderberg (Traffic; sex, lies and videotape; Schizopolis). It’s even released simultaneously in theatres, dvd, on demand video and digital download as part of Soderberg’s new media experiment that he’s down with his latest films, starting with Bubble.

Hell, even her personal top five movies list in this interview on rotten tomatoes rules. Seriously, 4 Criterion Collection art house films and Escape from New York? No way. Most pr0n chicks would probably put down something like 4 Will Ferrel movies and The Da Vinci Code.

Not to mention that she’s named herself after the lead singer of KMFDM, one of rowtow.com’s favorite bands and The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. Not exactly your first pet’s name and the street you grew up on. She cites Jean-Luc Godard and David Bowie as influences on her life and career.

She also has a music project called ATelecine, which sounds like somethig I’d have totally rocked back in High School when I was in the Trench Coat Mafia.

Here’s her on Tyra, amazingly sounding rather intelligent in the face batshit hysterical daytime talk show people:

Continue reading ‘Bitch of the Day – Sasha Grey’

Yet another bitch I probably should’ve made BotD sooner.  Pauley Perrette plays Abby Scuito, the quirky goth forensics expert / hacker bitch on the TV show NCIS.  Her wardrobe reminds me of someone who walks into Hot Topic and buys one of each of their ticky tacky goth shit then puts it all on randomly.  This may have to do with the fact that in real life she’s not much of a goth.

Yeah holy shit, I had no idea, this bitch is talented.  She’s a singer, a writer, a photographer, and got her masters in criminal science.  I guess she had aspirations of being a forensics expert before she wound up playing one on TV.  Pretty absurd.

Oh yeah, and she’s fucking hot… jesus. Peep some more photos after the break. Continue reading ‘Bitch of the Day: Pauley Perrette’

So I guess this is part two in my queens of new media series.  Amanda Congdon isn’t going to be on here, sorry.  She was just some stupid slut who someone else hired to star in their vlog.  She doesn’t count.

This bitch does!  She’s Lisa Donovan, a.k.a. LisaNova.  I guess at some point she appeared on Mad TV (which I haven’t watched in years), but if you’ve heard of her it’s probably from her YouTube channel.  She’s not just on Twitter, she’s a straight up Twitter Whore.

So yeah, she’s hot, and she makes funny videos and stuff.  There ya go.

Edit: Cy reminds me that LisaNova went to CU.  She’s a Boulder bitch!  Or at least she was for awhile.

How is it I’ve never made Felicia Day the Bitch of the Day before?  Wow.  This chick rocks, seriously.

Let’s see, she got her start on Buffy the Vampire Slayer or something.  I’m not really a fan, but I figured I should mention it.

She’s recently gained a lot of attention for her Internet TV series The Guild winning the Streamy Awards.  Fuck yeah!  You rule, Felicia Day.  The Guild is some definite “LOL NERDS” humor, which the Rowtow crew is down with, at least making fun of them.  It’s the tale of the mundane lives of a guild on an MMORPG.  And it’s kind of lulz with how pathetically horrible all of them are.  Well, all of them except Codex, Felicia’s character of course.  So yeah, she’s a geek gamer girl.

She was also in Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog, created by Buffy the Vampire Slayer creator Joss Whedon.  Wonder why she never wound up on Firefly, but maybe it’s just because there was only room for one hot redhead and Christina Hendricks already filled the role.  Anyway, Dr. Horrible (played by Neil Patrick Harris of Doogie Howser fame) is in love with her and most of his harebraned schemes center around winning her heart.  How romantic.

Along with Lisa Nova (I smell a future bitch of the day there) she’s one of the two queens of new media, and being a new media whore myself (and a fan of redheads) I can’t help but be in love.  The whole geek factor helps too.  Oh, and the fact she’s incredibly hot.  Wow.

Well, here she is… installment number three in my Bitches of Lexx series.  Yeah, this show has so much eyecandy you really have to wonder why anybody watches Star Trek or Fagglestar Gaylactica (not anymore!).

Louise Wischermann plays Lyekka, a man-eating plant creature.  She’s always popping out at unusual times, really hungry, and devouring random fools who accidentally wind up on the Lexx.  Not too shabby of a way to go I guess.

So yeah, Xenia Seeberg, the other bitch from Lexx.  There’s some episode where Zev, played by Eva Habermann ceases to be, and Xenia Seeberg takes over, as “Xev”.  Pronounced the same, spelled with an X.

Hard to say who’s hotter.  Both Zev and Xev are hot in their own way.  Xev dominates the series as far as the number of total episodes, so Zev is quickly forgotten.

Yeah, pretty much, they’re both hot, and both bitch of the day.

I don’t have a whole lot to say about this bitch.  She’s German.  She appeared in the TV show Lexx, where she played a character called Zev Bellringer, originally an ugly, obese woman who was supposed to be turned into a sex slave.  She got the sex slave body but not the sex slave programming.  Oh, and she quickly discovered that after becoming hot, she enjoyed sex.

Yeah, really I don’t know a lot else about her besides that.  Her character was replaced by another actress who may be a future Bitch of the Day.  Other than Lexx she seems to have starred in mostly German shit.

Oh well, she’s hot.

In case you’re either fucking retarded and/or have never read this website before, Zooey Deschanel and Christina Hendricks are two of the hottest women on the planet, which makes discovering that they each appeared in shitty videos from the Offspring and Everclear all the more LULZY:

Zooey in the Offspring’s “She’s Got Issues”:

Christina in Everclear’s “One Hit Wonder”:

Seriously, great female talent, terrible music. Man, I’m so glad the 90s are over, no more of this crap music and I can see Zooey in whatever movie she’s making this year and Christina as Joan on Mad Men!

I’m shocked and dismayed at you goddamn republicans, you tried to turn my girls with glasses fetish into something dirty and wrong.

What’s next, my Mrs. Robinson fetish?

OH, SHIT.

SERIOUSLY FUCK YOU.

(that said, I’d still hatefuck Sarah Palin. Anal only, though.)

Mary-Louise Parker, in case you’re an idiot, is the star of Showtime’s completely awesome show, Weeds, which is about a widowed housewife in suburban California who pays her bills by slinging chronic to all the bored dads of her neighborhood. Ricockulous shit ensues. Trust me, it’s a fantastic show, everyone on Team Rowtow never misses an episode.

Even Snoop Dogg himself has labeled this woman a MILF, so enjoy: