First off, FUCK SAW. That series is one of the most braindead, boring series to ever blight the genre of horror. Pretty much the only people it appears to are Frat Boys who get chubbies from fake gore and don’t need such simple things like a story.
Second, FUCK remakes, unless they’re by John Carpenter. Hollywood just churns out remake after remake of classic horror movies because they know that today’s emo teenager is too clueless to actually watch the classics and will line up to see these cinematic abortions. Much like how they idolize Fallout Boy and My Chemical Romance, but have no idea who Fugazi or The Cure are. But I digress.
I made this list not to be all inclusive or to highlight rare films, I made it to share a list of ten awesome horror movies that provide excellent entertainment value for watching this Halloween. So, please enjoy.
Near Dark
Basically this movie is the anti-Twilight. The cast of Aliens (Bill Paxton, Lance Hendriksen, the tough Mexican broad) are a clan of vampires that drive across the lonely highways of the American Southwest in a Winnebago with blacked out windows, leaving a trail of blood and terror in their wake.
This is the vampire as what it’s supposed to be: a remorseless killer driven by insatiable bloodlust. No sparkling pretty boys to be seen. Directed by Katherine Bigelow, who directed the excellent Iraq war film this summer, The Hurt Locker.
Level of Rowtow: Some good gore, great performance from Paxton, but no drugs or perverted sex. Minimally Rowtow, but an excellent movie.
Trailer on Youtube | IMDB | Wikipedia | Pirate Bay
John Carpenter’s The Thing
The only remake allowed on this list. John Carpenter took a novel idea from a vintage 50s monster movie, stripped it down and created something better. A remote Antarctic research station is infected by an alien lifeform that takes over other people’s bodies. The survivors must battle paranoia as they try to determine which of them is actually the alien. Kurt Russel delivers a winning performance as Macready, the base’s helicopter pilot. Groundbreaking levels of gore and a taut, psychological story drive this movie.
Level of Rowtow?: Insane-o levels of gore, some hardcore boozing and Kurt Russel dumping a mug of whiskey into a computer after it beats him at a game. Pretty goddamn Rowtow. Also, it’s got Wilford Brimley.
Trailer on Youtube | IMDB | Wikipedia | Pirate Bay
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