Archive for the 'Failex Reports' Category

Buy Alex a Fuckin’ Chemical Toilet!

Help a brother out. Paypal link, fool, send him some scrilla so the guy can rock one of these Chemical Toilets from Walmart!

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The Alex Soundboard

Peep the Alex soundboard here, fools.

Alex has infected Bascule’s PS3 with failure (and super AIDS)

yeah, well, bascule’s PS3 stopped working.

We can only blame Alex.

Bascule has already thrown a pillow at the couch and said bummer, the univeral hippie expression of dismay.

Alex infects the Rays with Failure

Fairweather Fan Alex Springer has jumped ship from the Red Sox to the Rays just in time to infect them with failure and cost them their first world series.

Congratulations to the Phillies on winning their first series since 1980.

Fairweather Fan Alex Denies Red Sox Fandom

He’s hopped on the Rays bandwagon, much like he did the Red Sox when the whole “reverse the curse” meme was blowin’ up. I’m sure he’ll be supporting a new team next year after the rays bite the big one.

Alex Fails So Much He Has Infected His Favorite Team With Failure

The Rays Gay It Up After Winning the ALCS!

The Rays Gay It Up After Winning the ALCS!

If Super Failure was AIDS, Alex would be Patient Zero. His failing has gotten so bad that it’s spread like cancer to his favorite baseball team, the Boston Red Sox, who just lost the ALCS to the fuckin’ Tampa Bay Rays. A FUCKING EXPANSION TEAM.

Alex breaks up with cy

“We’re done.” :[

Alex Debuts a Daring New Outfit!

He’s on his way to a job interview.

Alex is now trailer trash.

Note: this girl only exists in your masturbation fantasies.

Note: this girl only exists in your masturbation fantasies.

Alex has decided that Trailer Park Life is for him.

Note: This is what alex's new girlfriend will look like.

Note: This is what alex will be fuckin' soon

Kreig’s in Jail

So yeah, Kreig flipped out and attacked Alex with a rocks glass at Satire. Ironic, I know. Anyway he’s now in the hoosgow until further notice. Buy a shirt if you want (he doesn’t get any of the money).

Spotted: Alex in 10 Years

probably watchin’ an ER dvd

Alex Springer endorses Newcastle pint glasses for throwing at friends

For when you just have to throw a pint glass at a friend.

alex is back to failing hardcore.

Here’s the latest scoop on alex’s adventures in failing:

Alex hates Kreig. Kreig hates Alex. So you’d think inviting the two of them to breakfast at Dougherty’s would be an idea that most people would reject outright.

Sadly not.

Any how, Alex got pissed at Kreig, got into some manner of fisticuffs with him, which went unnoticed by bar security, then 5 minutes later chucked a pint glass of water at Kreig, missing him but beaning Cy on the noggin. Luckily for all involved, but especially Cy, the glass did not shatter and Cy was just left with a sore jaw.

Alex and Kreig were then both 86′d permanently from the establishment, with Alex returning 10 minutes later wearing a “disguise” of a new shirt and sunglasses, claiming he needed to find his cellphone. He was then forcibly removed from the bar by the owner/cook/bouncer, who threatened to beat him up.

All in all a sucessful day for Alex.

It’s Alex’s Top 10 Bitches, Bitch!

Alex here, I thought I’d spit at you my list of the to 10 hottest bitches of all time:


10 – Bea Arthur

Continue reading ‘It’s Alex’s Top 10 Bitches, Bitch!’

Advice for surviving Five Points, from the Japanese

This should keep you safe in Five Points.