I’m really not sure why I haven’t made this bitch the bitch of the day yet. She rules. She plays Deborah Morgan, the sister of title-character Dexter Morgan on Showtime’s Dexter. I’d like to describe her features as vaguely Asian. Perhaps her ancestors got raped by Mongolians like Laura Silvernman.
I can’t speak for the real life Jennifer Carpenter, but Deb Morgan swears like a sailor, which for whatever reason is a huge turn-on for me. Seriously, sometimes it’s hard to believe the shit that comes out of her mouth. Shit like “Thank the baby fucking Jesus.” How goddamn motherfucking awesome. I want to fucking marry this bitch and together we can thank the baby fucking Jesus.
J-Roc has informed me that he does not approve of her new, shorter haircut, but that really doesn’t subtract anything from her overall appeal. I mean shit yo, she’s motherfucking hot! It’s a bit concerting that she’s playing a cop, especially one who ostensibly hates pot. I just have to wonder if she puffs mad bowls after she gets done taping Dexter, going “rofl I play a cop on TV.” Probably not, but I can dream, can’t I?
Hey Jennifer Carpenter, next time you’re in the general Boulder area I’ll totally puff bowls with you. Continue reading ‘Bitch of the Day: Jennifer Carpenter’
and back on the air… she appears to be wearing briefs and licking a razor, ostensibly used to shave her armpits. Hooottttt….
That is all…
I was first introduced to this bitch as the latest hot Joss Whedon-vetted slut on his short-lived show Firefly. She played a hedonistic assassin named Saffron who enjoyed using her sexuality as a weapon against both men and women alike. Unfortunately she met her match against the ship’s resident whore Inara.
Now she plays a secretary named Joan on the AMC series Mad Men. She’s sleeping her way to the top and continuing to vicariously exploit the redhead fetish in the roles that she plays. Her character has basically been handed a country-raised prude to shape in her own image. She proceeds to thorougly corrupt the prude and train her in the art of seducing the men in power who surround her in order to get her way.
Yeah, uhh, check out that hair. Pretty fucking crazy. The boss in Mad Men described her lips as “a dollop of strawberry jam in a glass of sweet creamy mik.” Jesus…
Alex here, I thought I’d spit at you my list of the to 10 hottest bitches of all time:
10 - Bea Arthur
Continue reading ‘It’s Alex’s Top 10 Bitches, Bitch!’
Pretty much the only pop music I follow anymore is weird novelty songs that have entertaining videos on youtube. “Soccer Practice” by Gay Pimp, “What What (in the Butt) by Samwell and “Thou Shalt Always Kill” by Scroobius Pip come immediately to mind. The latest of these is Katy Perry’s “UR SO GAY”. It’s got hilarious lyrics, decent music and Perry herself is pretty hot, so I’m making her BotD for today as well.
It sounds like she’s learned a hard lesson about dating emo boys: they’re so gay and they don’t even like boys.
Lauren Holly: the wet dream of every teenage boy who saw Dumb and Dumber. Jim Carey thought she was so hot she married her, then divorced her a year later. I can’t really speak to how she looks right now, so enjoy some vintage imagery above.
Lately I’ve been watching her on Picket Fences, an early ’90s police / medical / courtroom / political / everything and the kitchen sink drama where she played a spunky little cop named Maxine. And while her role therein is mostly serious, they aren’t above parading her around in lingerie in a wet dream sequence for the Sheriff’s son.
I’ve got to say though: Picket Fences is a quality show. The writers of nip/tuck must’ve been fans, because not only do both shows share the “news item of the day” approach to their plot lines, but some of the plots are strikingly similar. One fun little gem: midgets take offense at trying to make a young child more normal. Dubya tee eff?
Well, anyway, Jesus… Lauren Holly is hot. I’ll leave you with the open-mouth-insert-cock-here photo:
Born on November 6, 1988 in Scottsdale, Arizona. On her free time, Emma is a web developer. Think she rocks some Ruby on Rails? That would definitely get some geekcock hard. She’s the superhot chick in Superbad, the freaking hilarious movie that recently made it’s way to DVD.
Born July 26, 1973 in London, England. Probably best known for her performance as the hot nurse in the movie Pearl Harbor. Kate’s ex-boyfriend is Michael Sheen, who she has a daughter named Lily with. She’s currently married to Len Wiseman and is a dedicated smoker.
Yeah, I really have no clue about this bitch. She’s Canadian, I guess? She apparently played some chick on 90210 at some point. While I’m not big on Aaron Spelling created abortions of stupidity, for some reason I wasted 4.5 hours of my life watching some fucked up Sci Fi original pile of vomit where they got monkeys on crack to write a story which is loosely allegorical to the Wizard of Oz, and this bitch played the wicked witch, while the previously featured Zooey Deschanel played Dorothy. In the time I could’ve spent watching, say, the Squid and the Whale for the first time or something, I watched this bitch instead. That was fucking stupid.
But uhh, jesus, holy fucking ridiculous eyes. The picture to the right certainly doesn’t do them justice. You might try this one: holy shit. I mean, I know there’s some lighting tricks and airbrush involved there, but fuck dude…
Looking through her IMDb resume there’s a whole lot of pretty awful looking crap, but I did find something fucking weird. One of her first credits is a TV adaptation of the classic video game Maniac Mansion. How the hell does that work?
Oh man…gotta kick back with a cold beer and get a load of this.
(Maximize new window for best viewing)
Yeah, it’s another BotD right after someone else posts a BotD.
I guess there’s just a lot of bitches in the world. What can I say.
So Zooey Deschanel…
What can I say about her? Well, uhh, she’s fuckin’ hot…
You might remember her as Andy’s murderous psycho bitch girlfriend Kat from Weeds…
Or Anita from Almost Famous…
Let’s see, what else is there to say. Well unsurprisingly she’s named after a charcter from J.D. Salinger’s Franny and Zooey, the book everyone who read Catcher in the Rye meant to getting around to but never read.
It’s pronounced Zoo-ie. You know, like Zoo, that movie about Mr. Hands getting his colon perforated to death by getting raped up the ass by a horse.
Yeah, I’ve got nothing left to say about this bitch. Now I can’t get the image of Mr. Hands getting assraped out of my head.
Holy hot chick. Born September 19, 1988 in Wyckoff, New Jersey. Most famous for her role as Cerie in the TV series 30 Rock. Not too much info out there about Katrina, as she seems to have pretty much just started off her acting career. You can bet we’ll see a lot more of her in the future. Here’s a couple hot shots from 30 Rock.
This hot, bipolar chilmo teacher was born on August 28th, 1980 in Riverview, Florida. I’m sure you all know that she was charged with statutory rape back in 2004. Read the police report here, it’s pretty damn detailed. What was that kid thinking? He had it made. A 14 year old with straight A’s and blowjobs, c’mon dude. He’s probably kicking himself now, so I won’t give him too much shit. At any rate, she manged to fuck up her probation by simply talking to a 16 year old female co-worker. I don’t really see how you’re supposed work in the restaurant business without getting to know your co-workers a little bit, so I think this whole thing is crap. Oh, and Nick Carter from The Backstreet Boys claims to have lost his virginity to Debra in school.
That’s right, Mrs. Edna Garrett, the house mother from The Facts of Life yo. Born April 22, 1926. Thanks for all the lulz, Charlotte Rae. Couldn’t find any nudes 
Born August 18, 1975 in Tigard, Oregon - lots of methamphetamine there. Best known for her character as Sweet Dee (aka “The Aluminum Monster”) on one of our favorite television shows, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Kaitlin has also been in The Riches and Curb Your Enthusiasm.
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