RowTow 2.0

This is probably going to be the first part in long, continuing series that’ll run probably forever: the people that I presently cannot stand at all.

People who listen to “Blues” or “Jazz” exclusively and never shut the fuck about it.

I don’t have anything against enjoying either genre of music. I own a fair amount of jazz records. Miles Davis’ “Bitches Brew” is one of my favorite albums. But goddamn, I hate these fucking idiots. All they do is babble on and on about how [insert genre here] is the only “real” music and how that all current music is descended from this genre. No new music is good enough for these losers. Point out anything positive by a band in the past 30 years and you’ll get some asinine argument about how it doesn’t compare to a real jazz or blues jam session and how that’s more important that silly things like structure, technical skill or the ability to write a good song.

White kids who think they’re thugs. AKA “wiggers”.

What pisses me off is how they glorify the most banal and ridiculous aspects of black culture, e.g. thug life, and ignore the rest. And what gets to me the most is that I’ve read Langston Hughes and Toni Morrison; I own a fair amount of jazz, soul and funk albums; I’ve watched Roots; Richard Pryor is probably my favorite comedian ever; I enjoy soul food and I sincerely doubt if any of these wiggity white boys i see hanging out at the local high school have done so. Do I think I understand black America because of this? Not at all, if anything I’ve realized that there’s a much larger racial divide than I saw before. Do I hate hip hop? No, I’m just annoyed by how its lamest element has become the dominant pop culture meme. In short, I hate stupid white boys.

Douchebags who are “into” cars

…and treat you like you’re some retard and/or homosexual for having your oil changed instead of doing it yourself. As if there’s nothing better to do on a Saturday than spend it changing the oil on my car.

Christians who think that science is debatable.

No, you morons, scientific theories come from years of research, observation and experiments, and are based on documented observation of repeatable phenomena and experiments that are performed under strict controls. Intelligent Design is NOT a theory, it is a hypothesis. Anyone can make a valid hypothesis on any asinine, impossible idea and it’s still valid as a hypothesis. Theory on the other hand refers to a hypothesis that has been tested and shows substantial empirical evidence that it is factual. Evolution is called a theory because of this. What’s really annoying is these morons want to debate science, but allow for no debate into the factuality of the bible.

Girls in college who make up their own asinine majors and think they’re oh so special for it.

“I’ve made up my own major where I study the history of oppressed people and their pottery!” What’s worse is they act like their retarded major is a perfectly fine career path and that others with more practical majors are “never going to get a job”. NEWSFLASH: worthless made up majors from a liberal arts college won’t even get you a job at McDonald’s, that Graphic Design or Computer Information Systems major? There’s whole sections on job listings for them.

Morons who make a big deal out of being 1/16th native American.

If you’ve actually been raised in the culture, I don’t have a problem with you, but what I can’t stand are the people who are for all intents and purposes white, but they make a big deal out of some minor native blood in a far off family tree branch. Technically I’m 1/16th Spanish, but I never bother to tell anyone this except if it’s a detailed discussion of genealogy because such heritage has had ZERO impact on my life. All I know about Spanish culture I learned in my high school Spanish class.

White kids who spell “America”, “AmeriKKKa”. Ice Cube is allowed to continue with this usage, however.

People who use the term “sheeple”.

People who are proud about not having a cellphone/email address and WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT.

Hippies who are constantly ruining it for us more mainstream progressives.

No, your fucking “Bush = Hitler” sign will not reach out to Middle America at all, you fucking asshat. All you’re doing is giving Fox News material to run “look at these asshole liberals” segments.

Dipshit hipsters and retarded emo kids who think that they can be graphic designers just because it sounds like a cool job.

STOP CLOGGING UP HR DIRECTORS’ INBOXS WITH YOUR RESUMES OF FAILURE.