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Monthly Archive for October, 2007
Belgium basically kicks the world’s ass when it comes to beer production. You see American microbreweries springing up left and right trying to imitate Belgian styles. So what happens when the Belgians try to imitate a foreign style?
The answer is: they don’t, fucker. They improve on it. Piraat is a triple-fermented amber IPA that weighs in at a respectable 10.5% ABV. That’s typically enough to make you think: that beer is either heinously overpriced or it tastes like ass. And while it’s somewhat pricy, they certainly didn’t compromise on the flavor. This beer is not only drinkable for its strength, it’s delicious, even for you IPA haters out there.
Fruity… spicy… yum. It’s named after fucking pirates… and putting a few of them back will get you deliciously plowed. Enough said.
Check out the full size one here.
I’ve always liked taller girls, but never really dated any until about three years ago when I started seeing my current girlfriend, who’s 6′2″. This got me thinking about how it’s not very often that you see a tall girl who’s famous, but when you do they’re almost always gorgeous. So I threw together a Rowtow Top Whatever List of tall women that I like personally.
1. Model/Actress Brooke Shields (6′)
I’ve always had a thing for Brooke Shields ever since I was a little kid. I used to have a magazine photo of her hanging on my wall back when I was 5.
2. Actress Julie Newmar (6′)
My favorite Catwoman! Halle Berry can fuck off.
3. Singer/Songwriter Beth Orton (6′)
She makes good music. Check out her albums “Trailer Park”, “Daybreaker” and “Central Reservation”.
4. Model Elle Macpherson (6″)
She’s a supermodel. That’s really all I know. I mean what else is there? She looks good, has appeared in a lot of swimsuit issues… i dunno what else to say.
5. Actress Uma Thurman (6′)
Of Kill Bill, Pulp Fiction fame. She’s not too bad looking, though, she’s got some manly feet, as seen in Kill Bill Vol. 1.
6. Actress Nicole Kidman (5′11″)
Gets points for being a redhead and having the sense to not become a scientologist even though she was married to Tom Cruise.
7. Model Gisele Bündchen (5′11″)
Yeah… she’s a model. I dunno what else to say about her.
8. Ex-Nashville Pussy bass player Cory Parks (6′3″)
I saw Nashville Pussy like 10 years ago and was blown away, the rest of the band looked like the cast of The Devil’s Rejects, but Cory Parks was amazing on the eyes.
9. Model/Actress Julie Strain (6′1″)
She gets points for being married to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles co-creator Kevin Eastman. They met at a comic book convention. I gotta respect that, the only other nerd I can think of who’s married to a woman so above his level is Richard Dawkins (who’s married to Lala Ward, aka “the hot Romana from Doctor Who”).
10. Actress Kristen Johnston (6′)
“Sally” on Third Rock from the Sun, “Ivana Humpalot” in some shitty Austin Powers sequel that I half-remember. She’s one of those chicks that you’re scared (and somewhat excited) that they’ll beat the crap out of you.
Sadly, when tall women are not attractive, they skew ridiculously toward the fugly side, which brings us to: the top 4 Least Attractive Tall Women:
- Professional douchebag Anne Coulter (6′) - Technically, I’m not even sure she’s a woman.
- Former Attorney General Janet Reno (6′1″)
- Actress Bridget Neilsen (6′1″)
- Chef/Author/TV Host Julia Child (6′2″) - Nothing against Julia Child personally though, she was a fantastic chef who revolutionized how Americans approached French cousine, I really enjoyed her TV show and her book is pretty much THE English language book on French cooking… but man, she was kind of scary looking.
I’m inaugurating a new feature today, J-Roc’s Pisswater of the Month. Unlike Bascule and Cy, I drink beer that doesn’t cost 7 fucking dollars a bottle and doesn’t taste like coffee filtered through raspberries or some other gay shit. I drink affordable American lagers that are good to pound for a buzz, preferably while watching a ricockulously shitty movie.
First up, is an oldie but a goodie, that’s sadly seen better days: Olympia.
According to Wikipedia:
The Olympia Brewing Company began brewing in 1896 at the Tumwater Falls of the Deschutes River and continued until Prohibition. It was founded by Leopold Schmidt, a German immigrant living in Montana. After Prohibition ended, a new brewery was erected just upstream from the original.
Olympia Beer was a very popular regional Pacific Northwest brand which eventually expanded nationwide, positioned as a low-price beer. During the 1970s, Olympia acquired Hamm’s and Lone Star. The Schmidt Family, which owned and operated the Brewery and company, elected to sell to Heilemann’s Old Style Beer Company in 1982. Heilemann’s was subsequently purchased by Pabst in 1983.
Here’s a great complete history of the Olympia Brewing Company.
Back when I started drinking “Oly” back when I was 19, it came in these awesome tiny 10oz bottles (like the above picture), which had rebus puzzles on the bottom of the caps. Then, after the plant closure in 2003, they switched to packaging it in crappy cans and in my opinion, lost a lot of it’s character. It’s still a fucking cheap beer, with a taste similar to Pabst Blue Ribbon, making for a smooth, clean American lager that goes well with hot wings and chilling at a dive bar, like the Surfside 7 in Fort Collins.
Plus it’s more punk rock to drink Oly now that every emo douchebag has co-opted PBR.
Mary-Louise Parker, in case you’re an idiot, is the star of Showtime’s completely awesome show, Weeds, which is about a widowed housewife in suburban California who pays her bills by slinging chronic to all the bored dads of her neighborhood. Ricockulous shit ensues. Trust me, it’s a fantastic show, everyone on Team Rowtow never misses an episode.
Even Snoop Dogg himself has labeled this woman a MILF, so enjoy:
If you’re not a fan of Stone, you’re a fucking jackass. I’ve never had a Stone brew I disliked, with the possible exception of Levitation, an underwhelming brew which seems designed as a gateway drug palatable to pussy ass light beer drinkers.
That said, there’s high expectations to be met by their yearly releases. Stone’s 11th Anniversary Ale certainly rises to the challenge.
It’s described as a “Black IPA”. What the fuck is that? How can a pale ale be black? Well, Stone certainly managed to pull it off. Two starkly contrasting flavors, intense full bodied maltiness and the blast of hops you’d expect from an IPA combine quite surprisingly well to create one fucking awesome beer.
It’s still on the shelves for the time being. If you’re looking for a beer that’s radically different from anything you’ve ever tried, I highly suggest picking it up.
Welcome our homeslices Tachyon and Bascule to the rowtow.com staff.
Tachyon has been down with rowtow’s ways ever since back when he met Kupf00 in high school. He’ll probably blog about stuff he finds interesting, like xbox 360 and 24.
Bascule’ll blogging on anything he finds interesting, so expect a lot of stuff on Pink Floyd, Transhumanism, Singularity theory, ERLANG, disgusting photos, shocking videos and philosophy.
Cy and Golgo are off to San Deigo to hax gibsons at toorcon. Phear.
Added an overseas travel album to the gallery.
Are kids these days really having sex in 6th grade? That’s like 12 years old. King Middle School in Portland, Maine is trying to make a full range of contraception available through the student health center. [FOXNews]
Two teenage boys had their hands partially severed on Friday in a tug-of-war event associated with a high school’s homecoming festivities. [9news]
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