I think it was mentioned before, but Cy and myself attended Toorcon 9 recently. As was expected, it was quite teh lulzy time. We had a ton of fun, but by far the best time had to do with the LOLDONG that we made.
After a Friday night (and good bit of Saturday morning) of hard drinking Cy and I went and grabbed lunch at Croce’s a restaurant opened by Jim Croce’s wife after his death to more or less celebrate his memory. By the way, they have some bitchin’ bloody marys there (although not as good as Hamburger Mary’s).
Well anyway, to get to the point, we passed by a porn shop. I don’t know why, but for some reason I was all about the porn shop, not like all ape shit and stuff, but enough to be like “check out the porn shop.” I mean I’ve seen plenty of porn shops and have been to the “adult superstore” like places in Las Vegas, so this was a pretty run-of-the-mill type place. I guess they had a good window display.
At this point Cy has the idea that we should get my friend Joe a LOLDONG. So we go inside, present our IDs to the clerk, and proceed to the back to get a dildo. The first one that caught my eye was $37, but that was a bit steep for what we had in mind. So, we settled on a ~$14 one. Now I’m sure that a porn shop clerk probably sees lots of strange shit, but I can’t help but wonder what he was thinking. I mean we were in there for all of 5 minutes before we got a dildo and were out the door. Getting the dildo was the easy part though. Next we needed a marker to turn it into a super awesome LOLDONG.
I’ll spare the details, but it took us at least an hour of walking around downtown San Diego to find a place that sold sharpies. Not that it really wouldn’t be hard to find out….. it just so happened that everywhere we thought would have them didn’t. Finally after getting a freaking sharpie and some scissors to open the dildo, we whip it out on a side street and perform the LOL decoration ceremony.
That’s the backstory, perhaps a little too detailed. Now here come teh EPIC LULZ.
So we end up at chilling at a restaurant patio area with Joe, eating and drinking, when I decide to spring the LOLDONG on him. Joe’s immediate reaction is to push the thing away from him and since we’re sitting at a sidewalk patio it ends up laying on the sidewalk (a pretty busy one at that). Anyway, we decided to leave it.
Having a dildo with LOL written all over it laying on the sidewalk in front of where you’re drinking a bucket of Coronas certainly makes for some hilarious times as a spectator. The best was when a family walked by and you could tell some of them were disgusted. As we left the place though, we kind of decided that the LULZ had run its course, so Cy picked it up and took it back to the convention center and ditched it in a planter in one of the smoking areas.
A few hours later I was in the closing remarks where they were auctioning shit off to benefit the Hacker Foundation. That’s when a friend of mine points out the someone off to the side is holding the LOLDONG. I thought that was fucking hilarious by itself, but gee guess what? The freaking thing ends up getting auctioned off!!*&@$ All I have to document this is one pic unfortunately. I really wish I’d gotten a video, because it was great. Bidding started at $5 IIRC and moved down to $2. Finally it made it up to $10, so indirectly we donated $10 to the Hacker Foundation. Yay us!